Wonderful 1

Today is my sweet little man's 1st birthday. It seems like it was just yesterday that I was feeling him moving around in my stomach. I remember seeing his sweet little face for the first time and being amazed at how perfect he was. It has been a quick year. Tucker is growing so fast that I just feel like I can't keep up. I am so excited for each new stage and at the same time I don't want him to grow up at all. Just this past Sunday, Tucker started walking behind his walking toys and now he is walking with them using only one hand to hold on. It will be no time before he is taking his very own first steps by himself. I don't know that I am ready for all of this. But ready or not....here it comes.

This morning we started Tucker's birthday celebration with special donuts with sprinkles. He cramed a mouthful in his mouth, sucked off the icing and spit the rest out. Too funny. He isnow down for his morning nap and I am left to carry on my day and think about how much he has grown and to think about what the next year will bring for him. I don't wish a single day away with my little man.

Busy Days

Well this has been a very busy month. Nick started back for another school year. Madison started preschool. Most. recently Madison started gymnastics and now is signed up for soccer. Last week I bought Madison her leotard for gymnastics. As soon as she put on the leotard, she could suddenly run faster, do better splits, jump higher, etc....it was too funny watching her prance around in that. Her first practice was great. She was not at all shy - I know suprise! She did great. Then this week I signed her up for soccer. I asked her what number she wanted to be and she excitedly said "ZERO!!!" I don't know why zero of all numbers butI requested that number only to come home andhave her say that she wants to be number 5....wait no 8....wait no 5...ok zero....no 8. AHHH!!! Her biggest concern about soccer is that she doesn't want to loose. She is afraid for some reason that if she looses then everyone is going to laugh at her. What she doesn't realize is that everyone will most likely be laughing all season with 3 and 4 year olds playing soccer - or at least hopefully chasing a ball around.

Now Tucker is about to turn 1 in little more than a week. He is getting so big and learning so many new tricks. He now plays peek a boo and thinks it is hilarious. he also has a new little dance that he does and it is so cute. Growing up too quick.....

Missing Child

This afternoon, Madison went to play at the neighbors house (2 houses down) for awhile. I sent the mom a message after Madison had been there for awhile asking her to send Madison home. A couple of minutes later I saw my sweet girl heading home on the sidewalk. I watched her as she she pranced home. Just before she got to the driveway, I turned to check on her supper, I may have been away from the window for a total of about 20 seconds. I went back to the door, to open the door for her and I didn't see her on the driveway. I opened the door and did a quick scan of the side yard and the carport but she was not there. I grabbed Tucker and went outside to retrieve my child and give her a good spanking for not coming straight home. I figured she had gone around to the front to get the mail so I walked around the corner of the house, hollering her name. She wasn't there. I continued around the front of the house, hollering her name a bit louder - no answer. I went back inside the house and checked her room, closet, bathroom and every room in the house- by checking the house I mean that I was frantically screaming her name because there was no sign of her and she had just been on the driveway. I grabbed the phone and headed back outside, dialing my neighbors number and still screaming her name - I got the neighbors voicemail. I walked down the sidewalk and just as I was about to dial 911 I see our next door neighbor standing inside his door about to go in the backyard. Mind you, by this time I am frantic and Tucker is screaming because I have just lost it....screaming at the top of my lungs. I walk up to his house and just open the door without knocking or anything. He must have seen the look of INSANITY in my eyes - you know the look that only moms can get when they have got to that point at the end of their rope.....the neighbor did not say a word to me. I just grabbed Madison by the arm and drug her home, with Tucker still crying in my arms. I got in the house, closed the door, collapsed in the floor with both of my babies in my lap and I just cried. This was one of those moments in my life that I NEVER want to repeat. I can not imagine what I would have done had I lost my little girl. Now here is what bothers me about this whole experience - while I am running up and down the sidewalk with a screaming baby and screaming "MADISON!!!" at the top of my lungs - not a single person came out to see what was going on. This is my plea to you, if you hear a frantic mom screaming a child's name, stop what you are doing and help that mom. There is no worse feeling than those moments when you are imaging the worst - in my mind, Madison had been picked up by a crazy kidnapper that was going to do who knows what to her.

We continue with the rest of our evening and get ready for bed. As we put Madison to be we are reading her Bible stories and the first one we open to tonight is when Mary and Joseph loose Jesus as he is still in the Temple. They lost Him for 3 days?!?!?!? I can not imagine. I know I have read this story 1000 times in my life but today it gave me new understanding about what Mary and Joseph had to be feeling with their child missing for 3 days.

Tomorrow is another day.

Pre School Pro

Today was the first day of preschool for Madison, so it was a big day. We took it easy last night and did lots of preparations for the big day. We picked out a nice outfit, painted fingernails and toenails and went to bed extra early. Madison got up this morning and complained that I got her up too early, oh well. She got ready and was so excited. We took Tucker to Mrs. Rita's then headed to preschool. Madison had no apprehension about the big milestone in her life that was happening.

As we were driving to preschool, I gave her the typical first day of school talk - listen to your teacher, share the toys, be nice, raise your hand, remeber to ask to go to the bathroom when you need to go. We pulled into the parking lot of school and Madison said "Mommy, you can just drop me off here and I can go in." As if I would actually drop her off and miss walking her to class - good thing that is not an option and that she has to be signed in each morning, she can't rob me of the joy of taking her to class. We walked in and she was such a big girl. As we rounded the corner into her classroom, the Dinosaur classroom I suddenly noticed the leech that had attached to my leg. She was holding on to me and slowly looking around the room. I showed her around the room and she met her teacher, Ms. Holly.

I saw two kids coloring with markers so I took Madison over to meet the kids and color so that I could get her involved in something. I told her to introduce herself and she so she said, "Hey. My name is Madison." The 2 kids looked at her and then looked back at their papers. I asked the kids to tell Madison their names. The little girl looked up and said "Jordan" and the little boy looked up and without hesitation said "SpiderMan." (according to the teacher he demands to be called Spiderman or Peter Parker - ha ha.) Madison sat down to color and that was it. She didn't give me another look so I slipped out. She did not shed a single tear. Now mom on the other hand, cried like a baby on my way out the door of the preschool. I sat in the parking lot in the car, sobbing into my hands because my baby is growing up more and more every day.

I called just after lunch time and Ms. Holly reported that Madison was doing great. I took off work a bit early to go pick Madison up at about 3:30. I watched her playing for a few minutes and she was having an absolute blast. I said her name and she dashed across the room into my arms. She may be big enough to goto school now but still the perfect size for big bear hugs with her mom. As we walked out of school, Madison said "Thanks for letting me go to preschool, Mommy." That statement made my day. All the tears and worrying were worth every bit with that one statement. Later in the car while she was telling me all about her day she said, "Why did you have to pick me up so early?" We agreed that she could stay a bit longer tomorrow.

Madison has a daily report that comes home with her to let us know how she did. Big suprise that "talkative" was marked on her card. She was cooperative, talkative, took a nap and had a good day. My big girl is a preschool pro. Tomorrow is another day and I hope it goes as well as today.

School is Starting

Well as summer draws to an end, I am reflecting not only on the summer but on the past 4 1/2 years because as of Monday Madison will be starting school. That is right, my girl is old enough to start preschool now. I am not ready for this to happen. She should not be old enough to start school. It seems like just yesterday I was in labor trying to birth my beautiful baby girl. I remember holding her for the first time and looking at her sweet face. How did the time go by so quickly. I remember her first laugh, her first words, her first steps. I remember the way she would only say "mama" when she wanted something or when she was upset. How did the time go by so quickly? I remember her first day at the baby sitter, her first best friend, her first time to hold her baby brother. How did the time go by so quickly?? I remember all of these things just like they all happened yesterday. How is it already time for her to start school????

I know that Madison will do great at school. She is so full of personality, makes friends easily and loves to learn new things. I am really just concerned about how I am going to handle these changes. Am I going to be ok that day? Can I drop her off at school without crying?? Can I at least hold my tears till after I leave her at school? These are the questions that I can't answer now but I will know on Monday....but on monday the question will remain, how did the time go by so quickly?

Now I just look at Tucker and he is almost one. I know that I will blink my eyes and he will be going to school and then in another flash, they will both be graduating and moving on. yes I know this is just part of life but I just wish it would slow down for awhile.

My question remains: How did the time go by so quickly?

Splinters, Squeezers and Drama!

Yesterday I looked at Madison's foot and noticed that she had a splinter. As soon as I said the word "splinter" she started whispering to me "please don't tell Daddy!" She said this because she remembers the last 2 splinters she had and the drama involved in getting the splinters out.

Well, needless to say, Daddy heard about the splinter and told Madison to not kick him like she did last time and he would get the splinter out. After about 20 minutes of her screaming bloody murder and saying things like "you are going to hurt me with those squeezers (aka tweezers)" there were also multiple threats of "if you don't let me get this splinter out then you will have to go to the doctor to get it pulled out and the doctor will use a big needle." You should have seen her big eyes with that comment about the big needle. It was left last night with the decision that she would go to the doctor today to get the splinter out.

This morning, when she got up, she came in and immediately started saying "Daddy is going to hurt me with those squeezers!" She finally allowed her Daddy to take out the splinter with his squeezers and no trip to the doctor was necessary.

In all of this drama, I really thought that Madison was going to stop breathing permanently, pop a blood vessel in her head or actually scream her head off. But when it all came down to it, her Daddy saved the day and got the splinter out. What she doesn't know is that we have to go to the doctor anyway this week to get her check up and shots so she can start school. Oh well, you win some and loose some.

Thanks Nick for being emotionally and physically strong enough to remove the splinter.

Couponing and Debt

Ok...so some people think that I may be crazy with my new recent obsession with coupons and freebies. Yes the freebies are not that big of a deal but the coupons - HELLO - they save us so much money. SO far my big savings has been from Pampers. I sent them an email with my feedback about some of their diapers..within about a week, I had a huge suprise in the mail - FOUR $20 COUPONS FOR DIAPERS. That alone was worth $80 (in case you couldn't do the math). I also managed to score free toothpaste (I stacked 2 coupons on top of a good sale) and got some air freshner for $.49. I was pretty pumped. I think that Nick that I was pretty crazy with my obsession until he started hearing about and seeing my savings on my receipts. Hopefully I can help save my family some money so that we can help get ourselves out of debt.

If you are at all close to me and Nick, then you know about our financial situation, as I freely share about it. Why would I share that information??? Well hopefully someone will learn from my/our dumb mistakes. So far in 3.5 years we have paid off over $25K in credit card debt. YIPPEE!! We have about another year until all of our credit card debt is paid off. We could not have done this without the help of Harbor Credit Counseling. This agency, consolidated our debts into one payment and got all of our interest rates lowered so much. This agency has been amazing and our saving grace. If you want to know about the agency just ask me.

Hopefully this couponing obsession of mine will help us get out of debt quicker.

Don't let the opportunity pass you by.

Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of when my Grandmother passed away. Which means that one year ago tonight, I thought about calling my Grandmother just to chat with her and I got too busy and never made the call. On July 3rd of last year, Nick and I were just sitting down to a tea party with Madison at our house and looking forward to a long weekend at home. As we sat down, before we took our first bite of food, my mom called me and told me that Grandmother had passed away during the night. I don't remember the conversation with my mom but I remember hanging up the phone and laying in the floor sobbing. I had just started realizing that I would never get to see my Papas face again and now I had to come to terms with never talking to my Grandmother again either.

Grandmother gave me lots of great memories. I remember when I was little, all the grandkids would stay at their house and all the girls would pile in grandmothers bed for the night. Papa would come around the corner saying "Fee Fi Fo Fum" and all the girls would squeal and just about crawl under Grandmother. I remember trying on Grandmothers costume jewelry, all 8 grandkids piling into Grandmother little Pinto heading to the corner store. I remember the smell of biscuits and chocolate gravy in her house when we would come to visit. I remember the fact that they always had breakfast after church on Sundays. I loved the fact that as I got older and would go out to visit, we would sit in the den and talk forever. I will always remember my Grandmother and her high heels and her poor ankles. There was nothing like seeing her roll her hips and just waiting for her ankles to collapse. I will never forget her sayings such as "well, I declare" or "I swunnee". I remember marking how tall I was by how short Grandmother was. I loved how she always kept the chocolate candy stored in the refrigerator under the vegetables (I guess she thought that we would see the veggies and decide that the veggies would taste so much better - but that never happened). I will always remember her decorating her Christmas tree with white envelopes for each person in the family (which contained money). I will never forget how she never called you the correct name on the first try, she always had to go through all the grandkids and then she would eventually get your name right.

I will always regret getting too busy on the night of July 2, 2009 to call my Grandmother. One year later I have no idea what was so important that I didn't call her to chat. I don't pass up that opportunity now. Now I talk to my mom every day and I talk to my Granny on a very regular basis. Don't let the opportunity pass to tell someone that you love, that you love them. I know that my Grandmother knows that I loved her, no doubt about that but I just wish I could have told her again.

I am in Mobile this weekend to visit with my parents and the first thing I noticed in the house was a picture of my Grandparents. I miss them so much....I just wonder when/if it will get to the point where I can look at a picture of them and not tear up.

Here are the lyrics to the song "If you only knew" by the Inspirations. It is a really good song and it makes me think of both Grandmother and Papa. Grandmother was not sick but I do think that she passed away of a broken heart - after my Papa left this earth, she was so lonely and she was ready to be with him again. My Grandmother passed away in her sleep and did not suffer and I find peace in that as well as knowing that she is in Heaven now.

Here are the lyrics:

Have you prayed for a loved one... struggling hard with pain
you asked the lord for healing.... but that healing never came
and in spite of all your efforts , the good Lord called THEM home
its hard to let go, when your trying to hold on
Now your down in the valley looking up to the sky
and your praying.... "lord you know what's best but I don't understand why"
if you could hear your loved one... speaking now to you they'd say...
you wouldn't be grieving, if you only knew.
If you only knew, I'm just going home, your prayers have been answered, my sickness is gone,
Things look much better from Heavens view, The sun always shines we're having a good time if you only knew
To be absent from the body is present with the lord, I'm in the arm of Jesus now & I'm not suffering any more,
hand in hand we'll stroll together down Heaven's avenue...We're having a big celebration if you only knew.
If you only knew... I 'm just going home Your prayers have been answered, If you only knew.

YUMMY

If you know my daughter, you know she is not shy at all. A couple of weeks ago she took off to the neighbors house to see their daughter, who is 20 years old (yes Madison is 4). Madison came back awhile later with a plate of food and said that she had been over cooking with Miss Christa. I tasted the food and it was delicious so I begged for the recipe and she willingly gave it to me.

Spinach Ravioli/Pot stickers/Won tons - I don't really know what to call it except YUMMY!

• 15 ounces ricotta cheese
• 1 cup mozzarella
• 1/2 Parmesan cheese (the recipe that she gave me did not say 1/2 of what so I just guessed and poured some in)
• 2 cups fresh spinach (finely chopped)
• 1 large egg
• salt/pepper to taste
• lemon zest to taste (I liked the kick of the the lemon so I added zest from a whole lemon.)
• 2 tbsp garlic (I used garlic powder and just sprinkled some in)
• won ton wrappers
• 1 tsp paprika (ha ha...I am just realizing that I forgot to add this in mine)

Mix all the ingredients (except the wonton wrappers). Place 1 tbsp of filling in center of the wonton. Then brush the edges with water. Fold and pinch edges. (I bought the small wrappers so instead of folding the wrapper, i just put another wrapper on top - yes you do have to use water so that they will stick together). You can boil or pan fry. (I pan fried them).

I did not make anything to go with these....as I ate about 8 of them as they were still cooking. This was my first attempt at making them. They were not the prettiest thing in the world but they were DELICIOUS. I do have some of the mix left over so I am going to try it on a tortilla in the morning and warm it up for breakfast - I hope it tastes as good tomorrow as I hope that it will.

Freebies - Coupons - Crafting

So recently I have become addicted to Frugallivingandhavingfun.com This is an awesome website and shows you how to get alot of samples for free and coupons for things you use all the time. You might wonder, what would cause the sudden interest in saving money, well that answer is simple....The lack of money. Our Air Conditioning went out at the house and yes it will cost over $2000 to replace it, yippee...so now we need to make up the money some how...so I am going to be resourceful and save us some money. You should really visit this website. I wish I had the time to dedicate to clipping coupons to the point that I can go get a full cart of groceries and only spend a few dollars. That is my dream because I could then use that money for other things such as heating and air conditioning.

Due to the lack of finances, I have also decided that I am going to be more crafty as this will help me save money. For instance, I went through Madison's huge box of crayons and pulled out all of the broken ones and I decided to use them rather than throw them away. Here is what you do to make new/fun crayons.

• get a small muffin pan and divide the crayons up into the muffin tins. You can mix the colors to make a multi colored crayon or use all similar color crayons (both are great).
• Preheat the oven to 350 degrees and cook the crayons for 10 minutes till they are all melted.
• Remove the muffin tin from the oven - do not stir the melted wax - and let the wax cool all the way.
• Dump the newly formed crayons out of the tins.
• Have FUN!!! (Victoria - by "Have Fun!!" I mean now you can color with these crayons.)

Madison was so excited to see her new crayons and those were crayons that she would have thrown away. (yes the cheap crayons work just as well so have fun!!) I got this idea from a magazine....What I really want to do is find some tins that have letter shapes so I can spell out Madison's name.

I will try to post some more crafty ideas later but I am working on a few projects and want to see if they work before I post them. Plus, I don't want to ruin the suprise for a lucky friend of mine who will hopefully be on the receiving in of some of my new found craftiness.

My Delights!!

In class on Sunday morning, the person was teaching about how God delights in us. He started talking about what that meant to really delight in something. He compared God's delighting in us to delighting in our children. The teacher then went through and listed alot of things that he delights in with his kids so it got me thinking about what I delight in. Here is what I can come up with:

Madison

• the way she gets so excited about picking out a present for someone
• the way that when she gets a card in the mail, she then writes on the card too
• her crinkly face in the mornings when she doesn't want to wake up
• the funny songs that she makes up
• listening to her playing when she thinks no one is listening
• when she hugs me for no reason and says "I love you, Mommy!"
• when she gets my heels out of my closet and prances around the house
• how she thinks that my slips are elegant dresses for her to wear around the house
• priceless things that she says such as while at my grandmothers funeral and she said "why is Grandmother so dressed up?" and "Do her privates go to Heaven?"
• the way she sings songs even when she doesnt' know the words
• her big blue eyes
• the many interesting dance moves that she has (ok, so she does look a bit like a stripper with her moves but she is still cute)
  

Tucker

• his swollen face first thing in the morning
• the smell when he first gets out of the bathtub
• the way he claps for himself
• when he shakes in excitement when he sees food of any kind
• the way he snuggles up in my arms so perfectly
• each and every little fat roll on his body
• watching him explore everything around the house
• the way he lights up when his sister comes in the room
• when he starts bouncing when ever he hears music
  

My wonderful husband

• that he manages the finances so I don't have to stress about it
  
• that he always pumps the gas when we stop at the gas station
• watching him play with our kiddos
• that he always says "sleep sweet" when I go to bed
• that he knows exactly how to make the kids and me laugh at any given moment
• that he always lets me have the remote if I want it
• that he lets me play the fun word games on his phone even though I know that he really wants to play them

I will stop with these delights because I list all day long in regard to all of my family. A few other things that I do delight in:

• a good hot bath
  
• a stormy day with a good movie
• a good glass of sweet iced tea
  
• my potato salad
• a homemade meal by my mom (she is the best cook ever)
• a clean kitchen
• a good haircut
• an awesome outfit that fits me just right
• making someone smile

Now the teacher of our class said if you DELIGHT in these things....just take a moment and think about how God DELIGHTS in each and everyone of his children. The teacher went on to explain that besides just delighting in us, God actively PURSUES each and every one of us. He pursues each and every one of us to be HIS son or daughter. The teacher said, if you actually go into each day approaching God as he delights in you and is pursuing you, it will make a huge difference.

(Nathan Bland was the teacher on Sunday and did an amazing job.)

On a side note - Happy Memorial Day. I hope everyone had a great day with their families and thanking God for all of the men and women who have ever put themselves in harms way to fight for our country. GOD BLESS THE USA.

Summer, Preschool, crawling and other things

Well life has been busy and that is why I have not posted in a couple of months.

I have signed Madison up for Preschool full time starting August 9th. I was very torn about this decision as I only wanted her to go part time but things did not work out we signed her up for full-time preschool. I did not like this decision but it had to be made. Fast forward one week....Madison has been getting very bored over at the babysitters house each day so I now know that I have made the right decision to sign her up for school full time. (Thanks Nick for telling me that this is what we should do.) I know that Madison is ready to start school and she will have a blast but I am not so sure that her mom is ready for her to start school. It seems like I just brought my sweet baby girl home from the hospital, but now she is 4 years old and about to start school. I am sure that I will be a basket case on that first day.

With that said, Summer break is here. Nick has one more day of work and then he will be home with the kids for the summer. I hope that he is looking forward to it. I know that even as much as Madison complains, she loves to be home with her daddy....and this year they get to add sweet Tucker to the daily mix. They will have their hands full.

Speaking of Tucker, he is now 8 1/2 months old. I really don't know how that happened. He has been crawling for the past 2 weeks now and now he is trying to pull up. He can clap his hands, say "mama" and bounce to music. I just know that i am going to turn around one day and both him and Madison are going to be grown up with families of their own. I am not ready for that and I don't want time to go by too fast. Each stage of their growth is so precious and amazing (yes it can be a pain in the neck too) and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Now to get the house clean so I can go spend some much needed time playing with the kiddos, while they still think I am fun.

A moment to stop and remember my Papa

Yesterday, March 8th would have been my Papa's birthday but this is the second one that he has not been around for. He passed away in February of last year. My Papa was the most biggest, awesomest, most loving, tallest man I have ever known (at least that was always my impression growing up)...My Papa was an amazing man. He married his wife of many many years when they were only teenagers and he worked very hard all of his life to provide for his family. My Papa took great pride in his family (including his grandchildren - especially me). He called me Tweety Bird because I always like to come sit in his lap and watch Tweety Bird cartoons. My Papa could either be found in one of several places at any given time 1) in his recliner in the den (where it was so hot because he liked to have the heat on) 2) in the garden - he grew the best sweet corn that I have ever tasted...nothing like eating your Papa's corn that he worked to grow 3) somewhere on his boat, spending the day fishing 4) at church. I remember that Papa loved playing music...he was amazing on his electric guitars. There were so many family gatherings where all the men would get out their guitars, saxophones, drums, etc and really bring down the house with some good ole music...the walls on the house must have been shaking from all the noise but we all had a great time.

Several of my fondest memories of Papa 1) convincing me that if I put salt on the rabbits tail that was running around the garden, then I could hold the rabbit....little did I konw that he was standing on the porch doubled over in laughter from watching me chase that stupid rabbit with a salt shaker in hand trying my hardest to get to. I ended up heartbroken each time when the rabbit got away. 2) me sitting in his lap and reading Little Red Riding Hood. I had that book memorized and he would change words and I would catch him everytime and I would tell him "no, no Papa...that isn't right." and then I would say it all correctly from memory. 3) sitting in his lap reading the book Crispin and then us making up the song which I still sing at times and now I tear up just thinking about him when I sing it. (Crispin, Crispin. I been thinkin. What a hound dog you would be. If you kept all your milkbones and didn't share any of them with me)...we would sing and he would play his guitar and we would just laugh. 4) sitting at the kitchen table and I always got "stuck" sitting by him and he would pinch me under the table with his finger like toes thus getting me in trouble for screaming 5) sitting in his lap "helping" him play hearts, spades and dominoes. 6) brushing his silver hair with his hand comb 7) his countless magic tricks, I still don't know the secrets to those tricks 8) best of all I remember asking my mom if I could take Papa to school with me for show and tell because he was the best toy that I ever had.

All these memories of a wonderful man, a wonderful Christian and the best Papa EVER....I would love to be able to see his face one more time and tell him that I love him and hear him call me Tweety Bird.

I will never forget going to sit on his bedside the day that he would pass away. I sat there and told him how much I loved him and that so much was made possible because of him, our family was made possible because of him and grandmother. I am a Christian because he took my father to church and trained him up, who then took me to church. I told him that he should be very proud and know that he was leaving the world a better place then he found it just by being him. He lived an amazing life, married an amazing woman, and left a true legacy for people to follow. I am glad I had that last time to say my goodbyes to him. I will see him again one day and I hope that he is looking down on me and happy with what he sees.

I love you Papa!

Forever Your Tweety Bird

Spring is here!!!

Birds are singing.
Flowers are blooming.
The sun is out longer each day.
Kids get to play outside.
Warmer weather....Yippee!!!
Springtime is here!!! Hooray!

True Friends

Who are your friends? When I say "friend" I don't mean the people that you just chat with and occassionally do things with. A true friend is much more than that. A true friend is the person that you laugh with and cry with. A true friend can lift your spirits when you are so very far down in the dumps. With a true friend, you can laugh your heads off even when you are in the midst of a not so pleasurable experience (Joyce - you know what I am referring to). With a true friend, they know when something is wrong just by the look in your eye. With a true friend, you never have to apologize for how you look. A true friend can stop by your house without calling at odd hours and they don't even have to knock and you don't panick that they are seeing your house looking a mess. True friends are the people that will tell you that you are being an idiot when you are and will force you to better yourself. A true friend knows your real struggles that you are too ashamed to tell others about. A true friend loves your family as much as you do and will keep your kids in a heartbeat and will even volunteer to keep them. True friends are those people in your life who will do things for you that no one else in the world would dream of doing for you.

So to all my TRUE FRIENDS, thank you for being you. Thank you for standing by me and shoving me in the right direction when I need it. Thank you for putting up with me and loving me despite my many flaws (yes I do admit that I have flaws).

So to my friends here are the lyrics to a great song about friends:

Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
we all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow

Lean on me, when you're not strong
and I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

Please swallow your pride
if I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you don't let show

Lean on me, when you're not stong
and I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

If there is a load you have to bear
That you can't carry
I'm right up the road
I'll share your load
If you just call me

So just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I jus might have a problem that you'd understand
We all need somebody to lean on.

Lean on me when you're not strong
and I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
Till I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on.

Lean on me......

Stay at home mom....I don't think so.

So since Saturday our house has been plagued by the stomach flu and it has not been pretty. First Madison had it. Then Nick and I got it but Madison was ok by then. Then while we were still sick, Tucker got it. Then once we all got better, Madison got it again. AHHH!!! First let me say that I think it should be illegal for both parents to get deathly ill at the same time. When both parents are sick, who is supposed to take care of the kids? I don't know the answer to that but somehow we managed to make it through. With that said, Nick and I were home yesterday with the kids then today I am home with both of the kids.

I used to always think that I wanted to be a stay at home mom. Spending all day playing with my wonderful children, cooking a scrumptious meal for my family, getting all the chores for the house done and basically being suzie homemaker....well I know that is not me. Now don't get me wrong, I love my sweet kids, I love to cook and take care of my family but my brain needs a rest. I think I am a much better person for leaving the house and dropping off my kiddos and going to work some days. Now I would love to be able to only work part time and have the best of both worlds but that just is not possible right now. If we did not have a WONDERFUL babysitter who loves our kids so much, I would have to quit work but I know that she takes such good care of them.

I don't know how someone can stay at home all day and listen to kids complain, whine, gripe, play "I want that" when commercials come on television and so on....after so long...it gets really old. Yes I know that if I did stay at home full time I would be out and about with the kids but still I would be home ALOT. I can not for the life of me keep my house clean with the kids here. Yes I know, a clean house is not that important but I get that trait from my mom, Thanks Mom! I can not stand for my house to be a mess...and as I have cleaned up one thing over the past 2 days then there are little hands behind me messing it up. Yes Madison will help clean up and yes there are rules in my house but at some point in time I like to have a break from being "mom" and I just get to be an adult....I get to be "me".

Well I don't know about you all but I vented and I feel better.

Disclaimer: This post in no way insinuates that being a stay at home mom is harder than working outside the home....I am just saying that it has its challenges as well as working outside the home.

2 Things on my mind today.

There are two things on my mind today so I will share both....one thing has nothing to do with the other.

First- If you have not ever thanked your spouse for not being physically abusive, stop reading and do so right now. Last night we saw our neighbor punch his girlfriend/spouse in the face so hard that she hit the ground. Nick called the police and they responded but by the time the police came out our neighbors had already made up. The police ended up leaving and the couple went back into their house. Crazy! Sad! When this happened last night I gave Nick a kiss and told him thankyou for never hitting me.

Second - I am a real adult....this milestone has nothing to do with me turning 30 next month or anything like that. Today for the first time I did something that I have been putting off for a long long time. Are you ready for this.....I willingly made and ate a meatloaf...the strangest part was that it was really good. I will have to admit that it still looked as nasty as it always did when I remember seeing meatloafs growing up but I am an adult so I got passed the terrible sight and chowed down and it was delicious.....no I do not have a reciepe for it because I cheated and used a seasoning packet where I just had to add the meat, eggs and bread crumbs but all in all, I have to admit that I was impressed with myself.

I hereby declare myself a real adult!

My sick little girl.

I heard Madison crying this morning while still laying in the bed. When I went in her room to check on her, I was greeted by her throwing up. I thought it was just a one time thing for her but lo and behold it has lasted all day. I knew she was sick when she voluntarily went for a nap instead of staying up and watching television and eating soup. Before becoming a mother I never knew that I could hurt so much for someone else. I would give anything to make her feel better instantly and to get that spark back in her eye. Having kids has indeed taught me what it feels like to have my heart walking around outside of my body. I am hoping and praying that she feels better soon.

Change of plans - just a relaxing weekend

Well the trip to see my grandparents has been postponed due to snow so we are staying home for a relaxing weekend instead.

Getting ready to visit my grandparents.

For several years now I have been working with the elderly, which of course means dealing with death, illness and Dementia on a regular basis. I have helped many families and individuals deal with the struggles that come with aging. I have given advice, been the shoulder to cry on and been the one to take the blame for many things. Now that I have been in this field for several years, it has spilled over into my personal life. My friends ask questions about their elderly family members, how to deal with them, when to move them into a nursing home, which nursing home, what to expect and lots of other things. With this said, I love what I do and I enjoy helping others when I can but I did not expect that it would be this hard to deal with when it happened in my own family.

This past year, I lost two of my grandparents. They were the most wonderful people that I have ever known and they left a legacy to try to follow. Having lost them has made me much more aware of how important it is to spend time with my other set of grandparent, PaHicks and Granny. I love them so much and have had so much fun with them over the years, from bathing in the silver wash basins in the back yard to playing in the worm garden (nobody could grow worms like my PaHicks) to watching Granny cook with my mouth watering.

Recently my PaHicks was placed in a nursing home due to his need for increased care from his Dementia (among other things). I have spent alot of time trying to convince others that he needed to go into the nursing home as that is what would be best for him and everyone else involved. There was of course alot of hesistation about this decision, which is often the case. But things fell into place and PaHicks is now in the nursing home. Then my Granny had surgery so she is there in the nursing home too for rehab so her case is a little different and easier to deal with.

This weekend we are going to visit them in the big city of Andalusia and I find myself constantly wondering what I will find when I get there. I know that PaHicks is in the best place as he could not be maintained at home anymore but how will I feel when I see MY grandfather there in that nursing home? I am worried about how I will feel when I have to turn and walk away, leaving him there. I know that he most likely has no idea who I am and hasn't known in awhile but I don't see him that often. I think it is going to hurt when I go to hug him and he looks at me like he is seeing me for the first time. I look at him and I will think of all the summer days spent barefoot in overalls playing outside or going fishing. I will think of all the hours that we passed sitting on the porch swings just talking the day away about life. I will think of all those things that make him my PaHicks and when he looks at me he will think "who is that and why is she looking at me like that?" I guess I am going to have to face it but it just scares me and makes me very sad. Sad does not really seem to appropriately describe the feelings that I have about the situation but I can't think of a better word....just sad.

I am going to be able to show Granny and PaHicks their newest great grandson and I am so excited to do that. Tucker will never meet his other great grandparents and I want him to at least meet Granny and PaHicks.

I wish that I would have spent more time listening to PaHicks' stories about his life, love and adventures. He lived an amazing life and always provided for his family. He served his country and he served God...what a man....now I am going to see him in a couple of day and hope that it will be a good day and he will remember me....

Just one of those days...

I knew when I got up this morning that it was going to be one of those days. I just did not feel good and did not want to do anything but stay in the bed because I knew I was in a bad mood and it would only get worse if I got out of bed. Nothing really caused me to be in a bad mood other than it just being close to that time of the month...YIPPEE!!

There are a few things in this world that can really cheer me up or at least make me less miserable on one of these type days: 1- a really yummy cup of hot chocolate with lots of little marshmallows (whats the point of having hot chocolate if you don't end up with a marshmallow mustache) 2- a warm bubble bath (the bath is much better if your daughter is not constantly knocking on the bathroom door saying "what are you doing mommy?" When the response I want to give her is something to the effect of "trying to convince myself to not just put my head under the water") 3- a good chick flick that will make me cry my eyes out (I think that just helps me release all that built up emotion) but for this to be effective the house needs to be quiet and I need to be in my pjs under a warm blanket 4 - a really yummy homemade meal. So if you are reading this blog and you ever find me having one of those type of days then be sure to encourage me to do one of the above 4 things to help me be a happier person.

I can be crafty after all!

I am trying so hard to channel my inner craftiness as I really have a desire to be craft like so many of my friends but this is just not an area that I am good at but lo and behold I did a cute craft project and it was so easy! My craft was a cute little valentine jar of candy. All I did was wash some baby food jars left over from my sweet little Tucker and take the labels off of the jars. (You do have to be really sure to get all the food out of the lid) I spray painted the lids silver, then put candy in the jar. I used red hots and the little sweethearts that you see everywhere at Valentines. I then put the lid back on and tied a small curling ribbon around the lid. Then for an extra special touch I used some puffy paint and put the person's initial on the lid. They make the cutest little Valentines to give to people and I was so proud of my myself. I gave them to my coworkers today along with a cute little princess valentines card (that I took from Madison's stash for her friends) and my coworkers all loved them. (At least that is what they said to my face...they may have really thrown them in the trash when I walked out but I will still so proud. Yippee for me!!! I am crafty!

Snowy Day

Well I woke up this morning around 4:30 am as the on call cell phone was ringing. The person on the other end of the line let me know that it was snowing. Snowing??? I didn't even know it was predicted but low and behold it was a beautiful blanket of white powder outside. Not that I got to enjoy it as my phone did not stop ringing all morning. Luckily I have a great husband and good co-workers to help get me through it.

I still have not decided what the content of this blog will be and so far no one knows about it yet so I feel like I am writing to myself which is kind of a cool thought. But for anyone who does eventually start reading my blog, here is a great recipie that I got from a girl at work, Charlotte and she got it from a friend.

Orange Juice Cake
1 box yellow cake mix
1 small box lemon instant pudding
3/4 cup oil
3/4 cup orange juce
4 eggs
Mix all ingredients and bake in the oven at 325 for 45 - 55 minutes (it is really good in a bundt pan). Do not open the oven while the cake is cooking because it will fall. Once the cake is done, let it cook in the pan and take a knife and put holes in the cake.

Topping
2 cups powdered sugar
1/3 cup orange juice
1/3 cup margarine
Put these ingredients on the stove and stir till boiling. Then pour the mixture over the cake and let the cake cook before turning the cake out of the pan.

This cake is delicious and goes great with a cup of coffee at 5 am on a snowy morning when your brain is having to do more thinking than you are ever used to.

Thats all for now. Off to enjoy time with the family in the snow and to get some work done.

Just starting out.

Well here it is....I was told by a friend that even if I don't think I have anything to say that I should do a blog as it is a good release. I will start by telling all of my fans (ha ha) about myself. I am married to a wonderful man for 5+ years now. We have two kids. Our daughter Madison will be 4 in March and our son Tucker was just born this past September. I am a Geriatric Care Manager, which I absolutely love and my husband is a choir director. I guess my life would be considered pretty boring to many people but I love it and I stay very busy. I have no idea where this blog will lead or what my blogs will be about but we shall see. I know that you are holding your breath in anticipation for my next post.