Don't let the opportunity pass you by.

Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of when my Grandmother passed away. Which means that one year ago tonight, I thought about calling my Grandmother just to chat with her and I got too busy and never made the call. On July 3rd of last year, Nick and I were just sitting down to a tea party with Madison at our house and looking forward to a long weekend at home. As we sat down, before we took our first bite of food, my mom called me and told me that Grandmother had passed away during the night. I don't remember the conversation with my mom but I remember hanging up the phone and laying in the floor sobbing. I had just started realizing that I would never get to see my Papas face again and now I had to come to terms with never talking to my Grandmother again either.

Grandmother gave me lots of great memories. I remember when I was little, all the grandkids would stay at their house and all the girls would pile in grandmothers bed for the night. Papa would come around the corner saying "Fee Fi Fo Fum" and all the girls would squeal and just about crawl under Grandmother. I remember trying on Grandmothers costume jewelry, all 8 grandkids piling into Grandmother little Pinto heading to the corner store. I remember the smell of biscuits and chocolate gravy in her house when we would come to visit. I remember the fact that they always had breakfast after church on Sundays. I loved the fact that as I got older and would go out to visit, we would sit in the den and talk forever. I will always remember my Grandmother and her high heels and her poor ankles. There was nothing like seeing her roll her hips and just waiting for her ankles to collapse. I will never forget her sayings such as "well, I declare" or "I swunnee". I remember marking how tall I was by how short Grandmother was. I loved how she always kept the chocolate candy stored in the refrigerator under the vegetables (I guess she thought that we would see the veggies and decide that the veggies would taste so much better - but that never happened). I will always remember her decorating her Christmas tree with white envelopes for each person in the family (which contained money). I will never forget how she never called you the correct name on the first try, she always had to go through all the grandkids and then she would eventually get your name right.

I will always regret getting too busy on the night of July 2, 2009 to call my Grandmother. One year later I have no idea what was so important that I didn't call her to chat. I don't pass up that opportunity now. Now I talk to my mom every day and I talk to my Granny on a very regular basis. Don't let the opportunity pass to tell someone that you love, that you love them. I know that my Grandmother knows that I loved her, no doubt about that but I just wish I could have told her again.

I am in Mobile this weekend to visit with my parents and the first thing I noticed in the house was a picture of my Grandparents. I miss them so much....I just wonder when/if it will get to the point where I can look at a picture of them and not tear up.

Here are the lyrics to the song "If you only knew" by the Inspirations. It is a really good song and it makes me think of both Grandmother and Papa. Grandmother was not sick but I do think that she passed away of a broken heart - after my Papa left this earth, she was so lonely and she was ready to be with him again. My Grandmother passed away in her sleep and did not suffer and I find peace in that as well as knowing that she is in Heaven now.

Here are the lyrics:

Have you prayed for a loved one... struggling hard with pain
you asked the lord for healing.... but that healing never came
and in spite of all your efforts , the good Lord called THEM home
its hard to let go, when your trying to hold on
Now your down in the valley looking up to the sky
and your praying.... "lord you know what's best but I don't understand why"
if you could hear your loved one... speaking now to you they'd say...
you wouldn't be grieving, if you only knew.
If you only knew, I'm just going home, your prayers have been answered, my sickness is gone,
Things look much better from Heavens view, The sun always shines we're having a good time if you only knew
To be absent from the body is present with the lord, I'm in the arm of Jesus now & I'm not suffering any more,
hand in hand we'll stroll together down Heaven's avenue...We're having a big celebration if you only knew.
If you only knew... I 'm just going home Your prayers have been answered, If you only knew.