Busy Days

Well this has been a very busy month. Nick started back for another school year. Madison started preschool. Most. recently Madison started gymnastics and now is signed up for soccer. Last week I bought Madison her leotard for gymnastics. As soon as she put on the leotard, she could suddenly run faster, do better splits, jump higher, etc....it was too funny watching her prance around in that. Her first practice was great. She was not at all shy - I know suprise! She did great. Then this week I signed her up for soccer. I asked her what number she wanted to be and she excitedly said "ZERO!!!" I don't know why zero of all numbers butI requested that number only to come home andhave her say that she wants to be number 5....wait no 8....wait no 5...ok zero....no 8. AHHH!!! Her biggest concern about soccer is that she doesn't want to loose. She is afraid for some reason that if she looses then everyone is going to laugh at her. What she doesn't realize is that everyone will most likely be laughing all season with 3 and 4 year olds playing soccer - or at least hopefully chasing a ball around.

Now Tucker is about to turn 1 in little more than a week. He is getting so big and learning so many new tricks. He now plays peek a boo and thinks it is hilarious. he also has a new little dance that he does and it is so cute. Growing up too quick.....

Missing Child

This afternoon, Madison went to play at the neighbors house (2 houses down) for awhile. I sent the mom a message after Madison had been there for awhile asking her to send Madison home. A couple of minutes later I saw my sweet girl heading home on the sidewalk. I watched her as she she pranced home. Just before she got to the driveway, I turned to check on her supper, I may have been away from the window for a total of about 20 seconds. I went back to the door, to open the door for her and I didn't see her on the driveway. I opened the door and did a quick scan of the side yard and the carport but she was not there. I grabbed Tucker and went outside to retrieve my child and give her a good spanking for not coming straight home. I figured she had gone around to the front to get the mail so I walked around the corner of the house, hollering her name. She wasn't there. I continued around the front of the house, hollering her name a bit louder - no answer. I went back inside the house and checked her room, closet, bathroom and every room in the house- by checking the house I mean that I was frantically screaming her name because there was no sign of her and she had just been on the driveway. I grabbed the phone and headed back outside, dialing my neighbors number and still screaming her name - I got the neighbors voicemail. I walked down the sidewalk and just as I was about to dial 911 I see our next door neighbor standing inside his door about to go in the backyard. Mind you, by this time I am frantic and Tucker is screaming because I have just lost it....screaming at the top of my lungs. I walk up to his house and just open the door without knocking or anything. He must have seen the look of INSANITY in my eyes - you know the look that only moms can get when they have got to that point at the end of their rope.....the neighbor did not say a word to me. I just grabbed Madison by the arm and drug her home, with Tucker still crying in my arms. I got in the house, closed the door, collapsed in the floor with both of my babies in my lap and I just cried. This was one of those moments in my life that I NEVER want to repeat. I can not imagine what I would have done had I lost my little girl. Now here is what bothers me about this whole experience - while I am running up and down the sidewalk with a screaming baby and screaming "MADISON!!!" at the top of my lungs - not a single person came out to see what was going on. This is my plea to you, if you hear a frantic mom screaming a child's name, stop what you are doing and help that mom. There is no worse feeling than those moments when you are imaging the worst - in my mind, Madison had been picked up by a crazy kidnapper that was going to do who knows what to her.

We continue with the rest of our evening and get ready for bed. As we put Madison to be we are reading her Bible stories and the first one we open to tonight is when Mary and Joseph loose Jesus as he is still in the Temple. They lost Him for 3 days?!?!?!? I can not imagine. I know I have read this story 1000 times in my life but today it gave me new understanding about what Mary and Joseph had to be feeling with their child missing for 3 days.

Tomorrow is another day.

Pre School Pro

Today was the first day of preschool for Madison, so it was a big day. We took it easy last night and did lots of preparations for the big day. We picked out a nice outfit, painted fingernails and toenails and went to bed extra early. Madison got up this morning and complained that I got her up too early, oh well. She got ready and was so excited. We took Tucker to Mrs. Rita's then headed to preschool. Madison had no apprehension about the big milestone in her life that was happening.

As we were driving to preschool, I gave her the typical first day of school talk - listen to your teacher, share the toys, be nice, raise your hand, remeber to ask to go to the bathroom when you need to go. We pulled into the parking lot of school and Madison said "Mommy, you can just drop me off here and I can go in." As if I would actually drop her off and miss walking her to class - good thing that is not an option and that she has to be signed in each morning, she can't rob me of the joy of taking her to class. We walked in and she was such a big girl. As we rounded the corner into her classroom, the Dinosaur classroom I suddenly noticed the leech that had attached to my leg. She was holding on to me and slowly looking around the room. I showed her around the room and she met her teacher, Ms. Holly.

I saw two kids coloring with markers so I took Madison over to meet the kids and color so that I could get her involved in something. I told her to introduce herself and she so she said, "Hey. My name is Madison." The 2 kids looked at her and then looked back at their papers. I asked the kids to tell Madison their names. The little girl looked up and said "Jordan" and the little boy looked up and without hesitation said "SpiderMan." (according to the teacher he demands to be called Spiderman or Peter Parker - ha ha.) Madison sat down to color and that was it. She didn't give me another look so I slipped out. She did not shed a single tear. Now mom on the other hand, cried like a baby on my way out the door of the preschool. I sat in the parking lot in the car, sobbing into my hands because my baby is growing up more and more every day.

I called just after lunch time and Ms. Holly reported that Madison was doing great. I took off work a bit early to go pick Madison up at about 3:30. I watched her playing for a few minutes and she was having an absolute blast. I said her name and she dashed across the room into my arms. She may be big enough to goto school now but still the perfect size for big bear hugs with her mom. As we walked out of school, Madison said "Thanks for letting me go to preschool, Mommy." That statement made my day. All the tears and worrying were worth every bit with that one statement. Later in the car while she was telling me all about her day she said, "Why did you have to pick me up so early?" We agreed that she could stay a bit longer tomorrow.

Madison has a daily report that comes home with her to let us know how she did. Big suprise that "talkative" was marked on her card. She was cooperative, talkative, took a nap and had a good day. My big girl is a preschool pro. Tomorrow is another day and I hope it goes as well as today.

School is Starting

Well as summer draws to an end, I am reflecting not only on the summer but on the past 4 1/2 years because as of Monday Madison will be starting school. That is right, my girl is old enough to start preschool now. I am not ready for this to happen. She should not be old enough to start school. It seems like just yesterday I was in labor trying to birth my beautiful baby girl. I remember holding her for the first time and looking at her sweet face. How did the time go by so quickly. I remember her first laugh, her first words, her first steps. I remember the way she would only say "mama" when she wanted something or when she was upset. How did the time go by so quickly? I remember her first day at the baby sitter, her first best friend, her first time to hold her baby brother. How did the time go by so quickly?? I remember all of these things just like they all happened yesterday. How is it already time for her to start school????

I know that Madison will do great at school. She is so full of personality, makes friends easily and loves to learn new things. I am really just concerned about how I am going to handle these changes. Am I going to be ok that day? Can I drop her off at school without crying?? Can I at least hold my tears till after I leave her at school? These are the questions that I can't answer now but I will know on Monday....but on monday the question will remain, how did the time go by so quickly?

Now I just look at Tucker and he is almost one. I know that I will blink my eyes and he will be going to school and then in another flash, they will both be graduating and moving on. yes I know this is just part of life but I just wish it would slow down for awhile.

My question remains: How did the time go by so quickly?

Splinters, Squeezers and Drama!

Yesterday I looked at Madison's foot and noticed that she had a splinter. As soon as I said the word "splinter" she started whispering to me "please don't tell Daddy!" She said this because she remembers the last 2 splinters she had and the drama involved in getting the splinters out.

Well, needless to say, Daddy heard about the splinter and told Madison to not kick him like she did last time and he would get the splinter out. After about 20 minutes of her screaming bloody murder and saying things like "you are going to hurt me with those squeezers (aka tweezers)" there were also multiple threats of "if you don't let me get this splinter out then you will have to go to the doctor to get it pulled out and the doctor will use a big needle." You should have seen her big eyes with that comment about the big needle. It was left last night with the decision that she would go to the doctor today to get the splinter out.

This morning, when she got up, she came in and immediately started saying "Daddy is going to hurt me with those squeezers!" She finally allowed her Daddy to take out the splinter with his squeezers and no trip to the doctor was necessary.

In all of this drama, I really thought that Madison was going to stop breathing permanently, pop a blood vessel in her head or actually scream her head off. But when it all came down to it, her Daddy saved the day and got the splinter out. What she doesn't know is that we have to go to the doctor anyway this week to get her check up and shots so she can start school. Oh well, you win some and loose some.

Thanks Nick for being emotionally and physically strong enough to remove the splinter.

Couponing and Debt

Ok...so some people think that I may be crazy with my new recent obsession with coupons and freebies. Yes the freebies are not that big of a deal but the coupons - HELLO - they save us so much money. SO far my big savings has been from Pampers. I sent them an email with my feedback about some of their diapers..within about a week, I had a huge suprise in the mail - FOUR $20 COUPONS FOR DIAPERS. That alone was worth $80 (in case you couldn't do the math). I also managed to score free toothpaste (I stacked 2 coupons on top of a good sale) and got some air freshner for $.49. I was pretty pumped. I think that Nick that I was pretty crazy with my obsession until he started hearing about and seeing my savings on my receipts. Hopefully I can help save my family some money so that we can help get ourselves out of debt.

If you are at all close to me and Nick, then you know about our financial situation, as I freely share about it. Why would I share that information??? Well hopefully someone will learn from my/our dumb mistakes. So far in 3.5 years we have paid off over $25K in credit card debt. YIPPEE!! We have about another year until all of our credit card debt is paid off. We could not have done this without the help of Harbor Credit Counseling. This agency, consolidated our debts into one payment and got all of our interest rates lowered so much. This agency has been amazing and our saving grace. If you want to know about the agency just ask me.

Hopefully this couponing obsession of mine will help us get out of debt quicker.

Don't let the opportunity pass you by.

Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of when my Grandmother passed away. Which means that one year ago tonight, I thought about calling my Grandmother just to chat with her and I got too busy and never made the call. On July 3rd of last year, Nick and I were just sitting down to a tea party with Madison at our house and looking forward to a long weekend at home. As we sat down, before we took our first bite of food, my mom called me and told me that Grandmother had passed away during the night. I don't remember the conversation with my mom but I remember hanging up the phone and laying in the floor sobbing. I had just started realizing that I would never get to see my Papas face again and now I had to come to terms with never talking to my Grandmother again either.

Grandmother gave me lots of great memories. I remember when I was little, all the grandkids would stay at their house and all the girls would pile in grandmothers bed for the night. Papa would come around the corner saying "Fee Fi Fo Fum" and all the girls would squeal and just about crawl under Grandmother. I remember trying on Grandmothers costume jewelry, all 8 grandkids piling into Grandmother little Pinto heading to the corner store. I remember the smell of biscuits and chocolate gravy in her house when we would come to visit. I remember the fact that they always had breakfast after church on Sundays. I loved the fact that as I got older and would go out to visit, we would sit in the den and talk forever. I will always remember my Grandmother and her high heels and her poor ankles. There was nothing like seeing her roll her hips and just waiting for her ankles to collapse. I will never forget her sayings such as "well, I declare" or "I swunnee". I remember marking how tall I was by how short Grandmother was. I loved how she always kept the chocolate candy stored in the refrigerator under the vegetables (I guess she thought that we would see the veggies and decide that the veggies would taste so much better - but that never happened). I will always remember her decorating her Christmas tree with white envelopes for each person in the family (which contained money). I will never forget how she never called you the correct name on the first try, she always had to go through all the grandkids and then she would eventually get your name right.

I will always regret getting too busy on the night of July 2, 2009 to call my Grandmother. One year later I have no idea what was so important that I didn't call her to chat. I don't pass up that opportunity now. Now I talk to my mom every day and I talk to my Granny on a very regular basis. Don't let the opportunity pass to tell someone that you love, that you love them. I know that my Grandmother knows that I loved her, no doubt about that but I just wish I could have told her again.

I am in Mobile this weekend to visit with my parents and the first thing I noticed in the house was a picture of my Grandparents. I miss them so much....I just wonder when/if it will get to the point where I can look at a picture of them and not tear up.

Here are the lyrics to the song "If you only knew" by the Inspirations. It is a really good song and it makes me think of both Grandmother and Papa. Grandmother was not sick but I do think that she passed away of a broken heart - after my Papa left this earth, she was so lonely and she was ready to be with him again. My Grandmother passed away in her sleep and did not suffer and I find peace in that as well as knowing that she is in Heaven now.

Here are the lyrics:

Have you prayed for a loved one... struggling hard with pain
you asked the lord for healing.... but that healing never came
and in spite of all your efforts , the good Lord called THEM home
its hard to let go, when your trying to hold on
Now your down in the valley looking up to the sky
and your praying.... "lord you know what's best but I don't understand why"
if you could hear your loved one... speaking now to you they'd say...
you wouldn't be grieving, if you only knew.
If you only knew, I'm just going home, your prayers have been answered, my sickness is gone,
Things look much better from Heavens view, The sun always shines we're having a good time if you only knew
To be absent from the body is present with the lord, I'm in the arm of Jesus now & I'm not suffering any more,
hand in hand we'll stroll together down Heaven's avenue...We're having a big celebration if you only knew.
If you only knew... I 'm just going home Your prayers have been answered, If you only knew.